A time to remember

I've started coming out of my emotional cocoon...look out.

Since Hayden was diagnosed with leukemia, I've been very careful to stay within certain boundaries. I avoid sad movies and books...even conversations. I try to focus on little victories and progress, and never on set-backs or bad news. So far it's been a pretty good way to protect what I call a fragile veneer. I knew that, if cracked, it would shatter and all hell will ensue. Well, it's gone...

Last week, Tom and I attended the funeral of 2-year-old Tristin, a little ray of sunshine at the clinic and on the ward. His mother Kristen and I became friends. Although our children had very different illnesses and treatment plans, we both knew the fear, helplessness, and pain of having sick little boys. We crept into each others' hospital rooms at night to see how the day went, we shared sushi, and we talked about 'normal' things. Tristin's passing is absolutely heart breaking. We will always remember his beaming smile and beautiful spirit. Kristen, her husband Brad, and their daughter Alyssa are back home in Thompson now but our thoughts are with them every day.

This Friday, I'll join Kendra's Walk to honour a very brave and kind young woman. You may have heard of the many good deeds that she did in her short 18 years and the amazing legacy that she leaves behind. I couldn't bring myself to attend her service in December but I think about her and her mom all the time. I can vividly recall a time at the clinic when I was trying to soothe an increasingly anxious Hayden before his thigh injections. Kendra's eyes welled up while she watched us, then she came over and gently placed her dog Kemo on his lap. I can't say the distraction worked but I was never so touched by someone's empathy and I realized that, in some ways, she understood Hayden better than I ever could. Rest easy, Kendra.

And now I smile as I remember Jamie. He didn't have cancer...I knew him as the first son of my best friend before I ever entered the world of clinic visits and hospital stays. He was a gentle spirit who touched the lives of each person he met. He was pure sweetness.

I won't dwell on sad events but, while the veneer is gone, I'm taking time to remember and be grateful. Tomorrow, I'll return to regularly-scheduled programming when I post Hayden's latest blood counts.